Why Do I Let Stress Hijack My Sleep and How Can I Stop?
Updated: Sep 18
Stress that keeps you up at night isn’t just frustrating, it’s a signal. Whether you're a hyper-achiever, people-pleaser, or avoider, stress builds when your inner critic runs unchecked. In this post, I share a personal story of sleepless nights, teach the four key steps for overcoming fear and dealing with self-doubt, and introduce the energy levels that helped me shift my mindset. You’ll learn how to recognize stress patterns, accept what is, reframe your thoughts, and consciously choose a new path. Reclaim your peace, your power, and your sleep.
The Stress That Keeps You Up at Night Is More Common Than You Think
Ruminating at night, lying awake while your mind loops the same stressful thoughts, is more common than most people admit. When life feels uncertain or overwhelming, your brain naturally tries to fix it by playing out every scenario it can think of. But more often than not, that creates even more stress, not solutions.
You do have a choice. By starting with awareness (recognizing what’s causing the stress) and pairing it with acceptance and conscious reframing, you can break the cycle. Let me show you how this has looked in my own life.
How Do I Deal with the Stress That Keeps Me Up at Night?
When I was a kid, I had no trouble sleeping. Life was simple. But as I got older, stress crept in. First from personal situations, and later, from work.
At one point in my career, I worked in a highly politicized environment. My boss told me another executive was upset with a decision I made. I never found out if that was actually true, but I lost a lot of sleep over it. I’d lie awake at 2 a.m. thinking about how I could fix it, replaying every word I said. The stress consumed me for days.
As a Core Energy Coach, I now recognize that I was operating from Level 1 energy — the victim mindset. I felt powerless, ashamed, and stuck. But the truth is, I wasn’t actually stuck. I just didn’t have the tools or self-awareness to break free of the loop.
Overcoming Fear and Dealing with Self-Doubt as a Hyper-Achiever
That sleepless episode wasn’t just about one executive’s opinion. It was about my inner hyper-achiever. That is the part of me that learned, early in life, that I had to succeed to feel safe and loved.
Hyper-achievers are often driven by fear: fear of failure, rejection, and not being enough. The same goes for people-pleasers and avoiders:
People-pleasers fear disapproval, so they say yes too often and suppress their own needs.
Avoiders fear conflict, so they delay hard conversations until they explode.
Hyper-achievers fear falling short, so they chase perfection and internalize every mistake.
Controllers fear that everything will go wrong if they aren't at the help
These stress patterns don’t just affect your performance — they steal your sleep, peace, and confidence.
Four Steps to Stop Stress from Running Your Mind
Whether you’re a pleaser, avoider, or hyper-achiever, here’s how to regain control of your thoughts and sleep through the night again:
1. Awareness
Stress usually begins with an unconscious story you’re telling yourself. I believed that one executive’s alleged reaction defined my performance. But the truth? I didn’t know the full story. Recognizing my hyper-achiever trigger would have helped me contextualize the stress and realize it may not have been reality.
"What is true for you is not always the truth"
2. Acceptance
Beating yourself up keeps you stuck. I had to accept that I may have rubbed someone the wrong way. That happens. It doesn’t mean I’m broken or bad. It means having empathy for yourself. We are all human. I could have not taken this as personal, but more as a learning opportunity. Acceptance could move me into Level 3 energy — where I could take responsibility without shame or judgment.
"Before we can change or move forward, we must embrace where we are"
3. Reframe the Thought
Your thoughts create your emotions, and your emotions drive your actions — or inaction. Here are some reframes I could have used:
People have reactions for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with me.
I don’t have the full story.
My boss’s interpretation may not have reflected what really happened.
These reframes could have lifted me out of victim mode and into Level 5 — where I could be curious, constructive, and calm.
"Freedom is the freedom of choice"
4. Change the View
What if that situation was an opportunity? Could I use it to build better relationships at work? Serve others better? Align more closely with my values?
Those are questions from Level 4, 5, and 6 energy — the higher vibrations where creativity, purpose, and connection live. This is how I could have made peace with the situation and reclaimed restful nights.
You Are Not Alone
Understand that you are not alone. In fact, a 2024 Statista survey found that 76% of Gen Z and 77% of Gen X say that work stress negatively impacts their sleep.
Whether you chase perfection, suppress your voice, or fear confrontation, your stress is trying to protect you. But it often does the opposite.
Use these four steps — awareness, acceptance, reframing, and shifting your energy — to regain your power. You don’t have to live in survival mode anymore.
Takeaway
Stressful nights are part of life, but they don’t have to define your nights — or your future. By understanding your internal patterns and learning to shift your energy, you can overcome fear, deal with self-doubt, and take back control of your mind and your sleep.
If you want to find a coach to help you better handle the stress in your life, schedule a free discovery call to learn about how I can help you understand it, accept it, and find a path towards peace and calm. Let’s explore if we generate the right energy together to help you soar.
Comments