Get Off My Lawn

No. This isn't a blog post about grouchy old men or fertilizer. It's about being a high-achiever and yet still setting boundaries.

It’s an age-old problem I’ve heard from a high percentage of high-achievers. How to create boundaries so that you aren’t working all the time and not truly enjoying life. As a high-achiever you act in some of the following ways:

• So driven to succeed that you say yes to every opportunity

• End up being a critical resource and everyone needs your time or skill

• Feel you need to compensate for weaker team members

• Often assigned the hardest projects

• Engage in extra activities and offer support to other individuals/teams/projects unrelated to your own tasks.

But in the end, you aren’t serving anyone by saying yes. Let’s think about the people who depend on you and the costs and benefits from this behavior:

Characteristics of a High Achiever

High achievers are ambitious, goal-focused, self-disciplined individuals, who are driven by a strong personal desire to accomplish meaningful, important goals in all aspects of life. Typical characteristics of high achievers include:

And those sounds great. But the cost is a lack of boundaries and a dissatisfaction in life. So what do you do?

4 Strategies for Setting Boundaries

1. Reframe your Thoughts

“If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime”

How might you look at these work choices differently? How well is what you are doing getting you what you want? What happens if you share the work with others? Who might benefit? Think about the opportunities for your direct reports or others. By delegating work to others, you may be helping them grow. Consider how to help them learn and do things to your standards vs. doing it for them. It is most certainly harder to do in the short term, but in the end everyone wins. You get more time (over time) and the rest of the staff builds new skills.

2. Give yourself permission to not be available for everyone exactly when they ask

We’ve all been there. A co-worker stops by your desk, sends you a slack / IM, or calls you and you are in the middle of something important. You feel compelled to answer or respond right away. I learned a tip a long time ago that people don’t necessarily need a response right away. Our current forms of communication make everything seem outrageously pressing, yet 95% of communication outreach is not. So give people instructions on how to get a hold of you if it is an emergency and ignore everything else when you are deep in important work. You can always respond later in the day.

3. Block out time for you

“No One On His Deathbed Ever Said, ‘I Wish I Had Spent More Time at the Office”

Similar to blocking out interruptions from important work, you also need to block out time for personal development or fun and protect it like it is your life. It doesn’t matter what fun is to you. It could be binge watching Netflix, reading a book, seeing a concert, or going out with friends. Seek to achieve this as aggressively as you seek success at work. Think about the vision of your life. Be introspective about what truly gives you joy and be as focused on that as you are finding achievement at work. If you are struggling to know what gives you that joy, think about the last time you felt a deep form of inner peace. Were you with friends? Family? Relaxing by the beach. Block out time for that.

4. Uncover what really makes you great

“Each moment describes who you are, and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be”

You may be surprised. You may find it isn’t your hard work or achievement. I would suggest asking three friends what inspires them about you? You may just be surprised. This is the first step to reframing your work-life balance. Changing your perception of yourself to match the Truth.

And finally - one more thought,...

It's a foundation principle from iPec, the company that trained me “Life is a perfect adventure; a game that cannot be won or lost, only played” So, in the end, what is all that achievement accomplishing?

Coaching By Toby helps existing and emerging leaders advance their career. For more information, contact us at coachingbytoby@gmail.com.