What If Work Was Meant to Be Enjoyed?
Updated: Sep 18
Work does not need to be separate from enjoyment to be professional. Building friendships and creating moments of connection at work improves collaboration, communication, and retention. Drawing from Bonnie Hammer’s perspective, this post explores how mixing work and play can support career growth while reducing stress and burnout. It shows how connection elevates energy levels and quiets internal saboteurs like self doubt and imposter syndrome. With practical strategies and personal stories, the post reframes fun at work as a strategic advantage rather than a distraction.
The Lie About Work and Play
In 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work, Bonnie Hammer calls out a persistent myth: don’t mix work with play.
Her position is clear. Keep relationships appropriate, but do not strip the humanity out of work. Enjoying what you do, building friendships, and having real moments of fun are not distractions. They are part of a healthy culture.
I agree.
If we spend a significant portion of our lives working, removing joy from that experience is not discipline. It is self-inflicted stress.
My First Lesson in Mixing Work and Play
My first job out of college was an out-of-town project with Accenture. It felt like a social experiment disguised as a job. About 100 of us. Ages 21 to 28. Away from home. High expectations. Long hours.
And also…
Chair races down the hallway when we needed a reset. Late nights exploring restaurants across New York and Connecticut. Ski trips in Vermont. One late night trip to Atlantic City after a long shift with mixed results.
We worked hard. We also connected.
Those friendships did not fade. Many of them are still a part of my life.
And it did not stop there. At nearly every company since, I have left with with relationships that shaped my life.
Why Connection at Work Fuels Career Growth
Friendship at work is often dismissed as optional. It is not.
Connection influences:
Collaboration
Communication
Feedback quality
Commitment to shared goals
Some organizations even measure it. One company I worked for included a question in their employee survey about whether you had friends at work. That was considered a predictor of retention and job satisfaction.
This matters for anyone focused on career growth, career goals, or combatting burnout.
Isolation accelerates stress. Connection regulates it.
Combatting Burnout While You Follow Your Dreams
Burnout does not usually start with too much work. It starts with too little meaning.
When you are a hyper achiever, you can push through almost anything. Until you cannot.
You set ambitious career goals. You follow your dreams. You say yes to opportunities. You tell yourself the stress is temporary.
Then the energy drops.
In the iPec ELI framework, this often looks like:
Level 1 energy: withdrawal, fatigue, disengagement
Level 2 energy: frustration, blame, tension
This is where imposter syndrome, self doubt, and internal saboteurs get loud. The Judge questions your worth. The Hyper-Achiever pushes harder. The Avoider tells you to disconnect.
Connection interrupts that cycle.
When you genuinely enjoy the people you work with, your energy shifts:
Toward Level 3: acceptance and responsibility
Toward Level 4: compassion and connection
Toward Level 5: opportunity and creative collaboration
Fun is not frivolous. It is fuel.
Balancing Motherhood and Career Without Losing Yourself
For those balancing motherhood and career, the stakes are even higher.
Time is constrained. Energy is finite. The margin for unnecessary stress is thin.
When work environments lack connection, every hour feels heavier. Every challenge feels personal.
But when there is trust and real human connection:
You are more likely to ask for help
You communicate boundaries more clearly
You feel supported instead of stretched thin
This is not about adding more social obligations. It is about improving the quality of the environment you are already in.
Overcoming Fear and Following the Opportunities
Some people resist connection at work because of fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of blurred boundaries.
Those concerns are valid. But avoiding connection entirely is not the solution. Overcoming fear does not mean removing risk. It means engaging with awareness. You can follow the opportunities to connect while still maintaining professionalism.
Tips For Mixing Work With Fun
Lead by example
If you want open communication, go first. If you want collaboration, initiate it. If you want a lighter environment, introduce lightness.
Energy is contagious. If you operate at Level 3 or above, others tend to follow.
Find a place that matches your values
Not every workplace supports connection.
If your environment discourages authenticity, limits communication, or rewards isolation, it will eventually impact your career growth and increase stress.
Alignment is not a luxury. It is a multiplier.
Get personal
Professional does not mean distant.
Ask about life outside of work. Share parts of your own story. Accept invitations when they arise.
This is how mentorship often begins. Not in formal programs, but in real conversations.
Acknowledge your team
Recognition shifts energy quickly.
Private appreciation builds trust. Public recognition reinforces value.
Both reduce self doubt and counter internal saboteurs.
Go beyond the obvious
Pizza in a conference room is fine.
But connection deepens through shared experiences.
Walks. Dinners. Hikes. Even something as simple as coffee outside the office.
These moments create memory, and memory builds trust.
Be transparent
Avoidance creates tension.
Clear, honest conversations create resolution.
Addressing conflict directly can actually strengthen relationships. It moves energy from Level 2 conflict to Level 4 understanding.
Take advantage of happenstance
Connection does not require planning.
A quick conversation in the hallway. A spontaneous check-in. A shared moment between meetings.
These interactions compound over time.
Get out of the office
Change the environment and you change the interaction.
A walk, a run, or a casual meeting outside shifts both mood and perspective.
Some of the strongest connections I built came from simple runs during lunch.
Benefit of the doubt
Assuming negative intent is one of the fastest ways to damage relationships.
Most of the time, what looks like bad intent is actually insecurity.
Giving the benefit of the doubt keeps your energy higher and your relationships intact.
Takeaway
I agree with Bonnie.
Enjoying your work, building friendships, and having moments of real fun make you more effective. They support career growth, reduce stress, and help in dealing with self doubt.
They also make life better.
Just stay within company guidelines.
If you are navigating career goals, leadership challenges, or feeling stuck between ambition and burnout, coaching can help you recalibrate.
Schedule a free discovery call and explore how to build a career that works for you rather than against you.
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