Am I Showing Up as My Best Self?
Updated: Sep 18
This is the fourth lie in Bonnie Hammer’s 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work — and I’m sharing my take on each one. We all want to be judged on our character, our intelligence, and our results. But the truth is, people see us before they hear us. Bonnie references a UCLA professor who found that only 7 percent of a first impression is based on what we say — 55 percent is based on what people see. That’s not unfair. It’s human nature. You can’t hide from it, but you can shape it.
And no, this isn’t an invitation to perform or pretend. “Be your best self” doesn’t mean being fake. It means being intentional. For me, it meant learning to tone down my hyper achiever tendencies and my instinct to dominate a room. It wasn’t about changing who I was — it was about being the version of me that landed better with others.
Early in my career, I boarded a flight after a Sunday wedding wearing ripped jeans and a tattered Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. I was tired, and not expecting to see anyone important. Then, of course, I got upgraded to first class — and found myself sitting near Mike Ditka, the legendary former Chicago Bears coach.
I spent that flight trying not to make eye contact. Not because I was ashamed of who I was, but because I knew my appearance that day would undermine any impression I made. I could have said the smartest thing in the world about leadership or teamwork — but my outfit told a louder story.
That day taught me something fundamental: your brand walks into the room before you do.
Building Your Personal Brand
When we’re busy or tired, it’s easy to say, “I don’t care what people think.” But central to your career growth is recognizing that how you show up externally can either reinforce your confidence or drain it.
According to a CareerBuilder survey:
62% of managers have decided against hiring someone who dressed too casually.
65% said clothing can be the deciding factor between two equally qualified candidates.
Futher, A Washington Post article reported that 93% of executives believe an employee’s style influences promotion chances.
Your external presentation isn’t vanity — it’s communication. It tells people how seriously to take you, how to engage with you, and whether they can trust you to represent them.
Refining Your Brand
I once had a colleague tell me, “You intimidate me.” At first, I bristled. Then I got curious. Why? What about my presence or tone felt intimidating? That feedback became a mirror.
Through reflection, I realized I could soften my delivery, smile more, and engage in light conversation before diving into business. None of that made me weaker — it made me more approachable, and ultimately, more influential.
Bonnie Hammer reminds us of a few timeless truths:
Posture matters. It signals confidence and engagement.
Be an active listener. People can feel when you’re genuinely tuned in.
Smiling builds connection. It doesn’t make you less powerful; it makes you more human which improves your leadership. See this article for more on how this changes people's perceptions of you.
Dress with intention. Clothing should fit your role, your body, and your goals.
Body language counts. Fidgeting, slouching, or closed arms can send mixed messages.
Self-awareness — and feedback — help refine your personal brand into one that truly represents who you are and where you’re going.
Align with Your Best Self
Sometimes, the best opportunities come when you step back and consider how you want to show up in them. How do you want to be remembered? What impression do you want to leave?
Your external brand and your internal integrity are two sides of the same coin. The more aligned they are, the more naturally people will follow your lead.
Takeaway
To succeed in today’s workplace, don’t ignore how you show up. Your personal brand — from your presence to your polish — communicates who you are before you speak. Be intentional. Be aware. Be your best self.
Call to Action
If you’re ready to refine your professional presence and take control of your career growth, schedule a free discovery call today. Coaching can help you define your best self — and show up with confidence, balance, and clarity.
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