Imposter Syndrome Cure: Faking It or Facing It

Imposter syndrome shows up quietly then runs loud. In this post, I explore Lie Number Six from Bonnie Hammer’s book 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work. The lie claims that "fake it til you make" is the answer to self doubt. Bonnie challenges that idea and argues for humility, curiosity, and honesty instead. I partly agree. Through two very different career stories, I share how admitting what I did not know fueled career growth and collaboration, while overconfidence fueled stress and burnout. You will learn how to face imposter syndrome without lying to yourself or others.

Summary of the Story

This post is part of a series where I work through all fifteen lies from Bonnie Hammer’s 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work. Some I agree with. Some I push back on. Most live in the gray.

Lie Number Six tackles the familiar advice to "fake it til you make it" as a cure for imposter syndrome.

Bonnie argues this mindset encourages people to lie. To overstate their expertise. To pretend instead of learn. Her alternative is simple and harder. Be honest about what you know. Admit what you do not. Then work harder, collaborate more, and grow into the role.

I agree with part of this. I do not fully agree that faking it always (or even usually) misleads people. But I strongly agree with her conclusion. Humility beats bravado when it comes to career growth.

Dealing With Self Doubt Early In Career Growth

My first story starts at a software company in the legal space.

I knew almost nothing.

Not about law. Not about the product. Not even fully about the role I was hired to do. I believe I was hired for potential, not polish.

So I worked. I studied. I listened. I asked questions. Lots of them.

I leaned into imposter syndrome instead of fighting it. I followed the opportunities to learn from people who knew more than me. I found mentors without formally naming them. And because I admitted what I did not know, people trusted me.

That humility made me a better teammate and a stronger contributor.

Sometimes not knowing is an advantage. It forces curiosity. It creates collaboration. It quiets the ego. And sometimes the outsider's perspective creates value.

When Confidence Turns Into Stress And Burnout

Fast forward several years.

I had started and sold a software company in the home inspection space. After the sale, my company merged with another. I walked in confident. Too confident.

I knew the space. I knew the product. I knew the path to success. Or at least I thought I did.

So did the leader of the other company. Our paths were not the same.

Collaboration vanished. Competition and suspicion took over. Even though our technology was more modern, they had been around longer and had more customers which equated to more influence.

Leadership shifted constantly. One month I was praised. The next I was sidelined. Sometimes outright bullied.

I lasted a year and a half.

It was the most miserable work environment of my life. Stress was constant. Burnout was not a risk. It was the reality.

What changed between these two stories was not competence. It was posture.

Overcoming Fear Without Pretending You Know Everything

Here is what I learned from living both sides.

First. It is okay to not know everything if you admit it. When you pretend, you create expectations you cannot sustain. Eventually you either lie or fail.

Second. When you do not know, work hard to learn. Your effort builds credibility faster than confidence alone ever will.

Third. When you do know more, stay humble. Stay curious. Be a learner.

This is where I think of the book Change Your Questions Change Your Life. Better questions keep you grounded. They invite collaboration. They reduce blind spots.

Bonnie puts it this way. ✔️ Acknowledge your imposterdom. 👀 Bring a can do curious attitude. 📚 Do your homework. 👽 Leverage your outsider perspective.

That is not weakness. That is leadership.

Hyper Achiever Or Thoughtful Leader

Being a hyper achiever can backfire. Many hyper achievers confuse confidence with certainty.

They push ideas forward instead of pulling others in. They mistake speed for progress. They silence mentorship in favor of momentum.

I have been that person.

Ironically, I was a better performer when I felt less sure. I listened more. I partnered more. The work improved.

Confidence is useful. Certainty is dangerous.

Takeaway

Imposter syndrome is not the enemy and does not have to stop you. Dishonesty is.

You do not need to fake it. You need to face it.

Face what you know - and how it helps. Face what you do not - without apology. Face the work required to grow - Work relentlessly to close the gap

That combination builds trust. It reduces stress. It creates healthier teams.

That is how you follow the opportunities in front of you and build a career that lasts.

If you are dealing with self doubt or imposter syndrome and want guidance on how to navigate it without burning out, schedule a free discovery call. Coaching can help you build your own success formula with confidence and clarity.