Conquering Stress - A Blog Series

In the bustling rhythm of modern life, stress has become an omnipresent companion for many of us. Whether it's the mounting pressures of or frustrations at work, the demands of personal relationships or family, our past experiences that hinder our ability to cope constructively, feelings of imposter syndrome, or the constant barrage of information in the digital age, stress weaves its intricate threads into the fabric of our daily existence. But what exactly is stress? Is it merely a byproduct of our fast-paced lives, or does it run deeper, connecting to the very core of our human experience?

WELCOME TO THE CONQUERING STRESS BLOG SERIES

In this series, we embark on a captivating journey into the heart of this complex phenomenon. We will delve deep into varying causes, impacts, and coping mechanisms to reduce the impact of stress on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Why Conquering Stress?

This all started from a simple graphic from mindfulenough that outlines one cause of stress that reflects a common lack of accepting about what we can and cannot control.

I absolutely adore this graphic and its relationship to a favorite phrase of mine I learned from an old colleague; “you can’t control what people do, all you can control is your reaction to it”. I’m sure you therapists out there would say that isn’t an original idea, but I’m going to give credit to my former colleague anyway.

My Story and How I Manage Lack of Control

I generally didn’t lead what I thought was a stressful life. Even when work was busy and my life was hectic, I took it all in stride. But, what consistently caused stress for me was when things didn’t happen as I desired (despite my best efforts), or people’s responses to my actions were not as I intended (i.e. negative) - a classic case of trying to control the things outside my control. The result was I would have negative self-talk and/or trouble sleeping and/or focusing as I would perseverate over the situation.

Through coaching, I have learned to look at things differently. When life doesn’t go as planned or people’s responses to me are negative, I follow the following techniques to reduce my stress:

1. Take 30 seconds for deep breathing or some form of mindfulness

2. Think to myself “what else could be contributing to this situation?”

3. Have empathy for myself or the other person. We are both a product of our prior experiences and that is impacting our mutual actions and responses.

4. Try to understand where they might be coming from - what is their perspective or goal which may be driving this behavior or action. How can I be more sensitive to that?

5. Become introspective about whether or not I could have handled the situation differently - try to learn from this experience

I’d like to leave you with a foundational principle from my coaching program that underlies this last point.

I interpret this to mean that we all do our best with the information we have at hand. It is only with hindsight (people’s reactions, unintended consequences, obtaining more information) that we judge it as a mistake. I suggest that, instead of being a mistake, it is an opportunity to learn a lesson and improve for the next time.

Next In The Series

Stay tuned for more in this “Conquering Stress” series. If you have any ideas as to what you may want covered, shoot me a line or comment on this post.