The Change Paradox: Why We Want to Change But Don't

The fact is,...

Change is hard

It is inevitable

And is a catalyst for growth

For those of you who know me, you have likely heard me say “change is hard” before. It is one of those universal truths for most of us? But why not everyone? Why do some people adapt better than others? How can you be more open to change?

And yet, change happens, whether you like it or not. For example check out these stats in the graphic below on transitions people make:

So why is it so hard?

It’s really all about your personal characteristics, past experiences, and current situation.

This includes:

Fear of the unknown: Change often involves stepping outside of our comfort zones and venturing into unfamiliar territory. This can trigger fear and anxiety, as we may worry about the potential for failure, judgment, or negative consequences.

Hyper-Vigilance: The more vigilant we are, the harder it may be as we worry about what could go wrong.

Habits: Humans are creatures of habit, and our brains are wired to favor familiar routines and behaviors. Change disrupts these patterns, requiring us to exert conscious effort to break old habits and establish new ones.

Perfectionism: The more of a stickler we are, the more anxious we may get when our order is disrupted. And the more worried we get that the change won’t result in what we desire.

Assumptions based on past experiences: Our prior experiences inform our future intentions. If a prior attempt at similar change failed, it is natural for people to believe that any attempt at change will result in the same outcome.

Limiting beliefs: Our beliefs about ourselves and the world can significantly influence our ability to change. Limiting beliefs, such as "I'm not good enough" or "I'm too old to change," can create mental barriers that hinder progress and discourage us from pursuing new paths.

Avoidance: Change is difficult and not always pleasant during the process. It can stir up a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, or frustration. These unpleasant or difficult emotions can lead to resistance or avoidance behaviors.

Lack of support: Transitioning through change can be challenging without a supportive network. Without encouragement, guidance, and a sense of belonging, individuals may feel isolated and less motivated to persevere through the difficulties of change.

Limited resources: Access to resources, such as time, finances, or information, can significantly impact our ability to make changes. Without adequate resources, pursuing new goals or adopting new behaviors can become overwhelming and impractical.

If you want to talk about a change your are struggling with, reach out to me at coachingbytoby@gmail.com or go to www.tobyadamson.com and schedule a free consultation to talk about how coaching can help you through your change