Am I Letting My Doubts Run My Life?
Updated: Sep 18
We all have doubts. They sneak in at night, whisper during meetings, and flare up before big opportunities. These doubts aren’t you. They’re your gremlins—protective little voices that try to shield you from failure, rejection, or shame. The trouble is, they also block you from growth, confidence, and fulfillment. In this post, we’ll unpack how to recognize those voices, understand why they exist, and reframe them so they stop running the show. By learning to separate from your gremlins and lean into your Sage, you can overcome fear, quiet self-doubt, and step fully into the leader you’re meant to be.
The Voice That Says You’re Not Enough
We all know that voice. The one that pipes up right when you’re about to try something bold. Mine shows up when I think about selling my coaching services to companies. Suddenly I’m tangled in questions: What if I fail? What if I’m not as good as I think? What if they say no?
That’s not my true self talking. That’s my gremlin.
According to iPec (the coaching certification program I completed), a gremlin is “the inner voice that tells you, in one way or another, that you’re not good enough.” It’s not who you are. It’s a protective layer built from experiences, family messages, or cultural conditioning.
Think of it like the devil on your shoulder, whispering: Don’t take the risk. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t let them see you vulnerable.
And yet—if we listen too closely, that voice has real costs:
Career and professional stagnation
Reduced resilience
Strain on relationships
Sleepless nights of stress
Overcoming Fear Starts With Understanding Your Gremlin
Here’s the thing: gremlins are not villains. They’re outdated bodyguards. They show up to protect us from what they believe will hurt us—failure, shame, rejection, emotional pain.
But their protection is clumsy. It often shows up as:
Struggling with adaptability
Overthinking and perfectionism
Avoiding challenges
Playing it safe instead of being authentic
Gremlins, left unchecked, keep you from the very experiences that enrich your life.
As Gay Hendricks puts it: “Many of our fears are based on the workings of the ego, the part of us that’s focused on getting recognition and protecting from social ostracism.”
Dealing With Self Doubt and Finding Your Sage
Here’s how to work with your gremlins:
Recognize the gremlin. Notice the voice. Name it. Where did it come from?
Externalize it. Picture it as that devil on your shoulder. Give it a shape or an object.
Reframe the message. Replace “you’re not good enough” with a mantra that empowers you.
Commit to the reframe. Live into it, even when it feels uncomfortable.
As Denis Waitley said: “It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not.”
How Do I Deal With the Stress That Keeps Me Up at Night?
For me, it was competitiveness. My hyperachiever gremlin tells me I must always perform at my best and beat the people I “should” beat. That stopped me from trying karaoke, running races, even doing improv—things I actually wanted to try.
I traced it back to childhood and that gremlin grew with me, whispering in every competitive space.
To fight back, I externalized it. I bought a Michael Jordan bobblehead—Mr. Competition himself—and left it on my desk. It reminded me: This is the gremlin talking, not me.
Then I reframed it: I am OK even if I don’t win. My value isn’t tied to performance.
For me, the reframe unlocked my “I’m in” philosophy. I started saying yes to things that I would say no to in the past. Karaoke happened (I’m still not a good singer, but no one died). I tried racing. I dove into improv.
If you are a hyperachiever like me and want to find a way to balance success with peace, check out the early days of my new program "Balanced HyperAchiever" and take the hyperachiever archetype assessment or just sign up to be notified when I release a full program.
How Do I Deal With the Stress of Being a Hyperachiever, Avoider, or People Pleaser?
Each of these is just another gremlin in disguise. Hyperachievers chase success but feel empty. Avoiders procrastinate to dodge discomfort. People pleasers sacrifice their own needs for approval.
The solution isn’t to “fix” yourself. It’s to recognize the gremlin and reconnect with your Sage—the calm, wise part of you that responds with empathy, logic, and creativity.
As iPec’s foundation principle reminds us: “Each of us is greater and wiser than we appear to be.”
Takeaway
Doubts are normal. They aren’t you. By recognizing your gremlins, understanding their roots, and reframing their messages, you unlock your Sage. From there, you grow, achieve, and create the life you want—without being weighed down by old voices.
If your self-doubts are getting in your way and you need help finding a way to clear them, reach out for a free discovery coaching session. Together, we’ll uncover the gremlins holding you back and help you step forward with clarity, confidence, and calm.
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